dEar @Acacius Megalos ,
Be f ore I formsllyt beeeging this lettwer, i sWANT to aPOlogise fore my horreeendois spellin g an d for matting. YOOU SEe, typp i?! ng with vvines is an e x tremely ardOUS tasl k. I aaaaam s%till ggetting twhe hangp of it>>>.
A fter rerading svveveral botanincal 3Enclycp{ledia.s, I havbe comepe to the sc conglusiotn tHAt Jerty haws been inFect ed with so me sort of viruois, whuoch he cont racted throug h dige sting a parasi tick pLA nt. T he o;yny waly thsi could ha veb happene ddd is ifgg??ed &* the Ps y hig h ca feterria stagf used spme variran t of "Ionumbra Claediuni", or Pha ntom AMbrossia, a comm oon seasoning. T oo much of it can sca&us e dementia, vine3 and o5th ere appendage grouth, and many ot ehr sympotns, all of whicho jeR R y has been showeeing.
VI c toria an d I a re goinig to re search anditondes for this, amd I recoomrend that youuu do tha same. Th e more mi nds we have, the fawseter jEr ryr can fet vvcak to moremal.
Bets of lUckkk to you,
Ja?de!vfiu Dsst/ Stincleair..

*A flyer posted in various places around the campus.*
WANTED-
RESPONSIBLE STUDENT WILLING TO TAKE CARE OF A PLANT/ANOTHER STUDENT
Must have:
-A basic knowledge of botanical caretaking
-A lot of patience
-Access to human organs (plant food, only every 2 weeks)
-Extensive knowledge of any field of science is a plus (she loves to talk)
FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT VICTORIA SEARS IN ROOM 1025, BROMLEY DORM.
I AM WILLING TO PAY UP TO $20 A WEEK FOR YOUR TROUBLE!

*the sound of a potted plant being set down next to the microphone.*
Thank you, Victoria.
Ahem.
Dear Journal,
The strangest thing happened last night. I dreamt I was in a field, and my hair was blowing in the wind, and it was silent. And then Seymour started singing, and I walked towards him. Then, and when I reached out to touch him, and then there was a bright white glow and I felt a surge of pain throughout my body and I screamed so hard...
When I woke up, I wasn't in my bed. Victoria was panicking because my bed was empty and she couldn't find me anywhere. I knew exactly where I was, but I couldn't stand up, or even move my legs, on that note. I waved my arms and I yelled, "VICTORIA! I'M RIGHT HERE!"
And then she turned to me and she picked me up and she shook me back and forth so hard, journal... and she shrieked at me, and do you know what she said? She said,
"SEYMOUR! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY ROOMMATE?" And then I turned to the mirror and I screamed so loud...
*a pause*
Victoria, could you water me? I'm feeling bloody thirsty.
*the sound of water being poured*
Thank you.
I don't know what happened, or how it happened, journal, but I'm... a plant.
I can talk, you can hear me, Victoria can hear me. I can move my vines around like this--
*the sound of vines shifting across the room*
But obviously, I can't walk on my own. Victoria plans to take me to Dean Hammer's office and tell him about my unfortunate... situation.
If all goes to plan, Victoria and I will share a schedule, so she will carry me to my classes and I will use her notes to study. I plan to try my best to learn how to write with these vines; but in the meantime I shall rely on my roommate.
*a long sigh*
I suppose the grand experiment of Seymour the plant has come to an end, but every cloud has its silver lining. I am my latest experiment! I will record how I eat, sleep, et cetera. My ultimate goal is to find out what happened to my real body, and get it back. At the least, I intend to find a sufficient substitute.
Journal, neither you nor I could have ever imagined this is the way things would have turned out.
I hope I can become Psy High's first botanical student, and I hope I can get my real body back by the end of the school year.
Yours,
Jade St. Sinclair.
*a pause*
Victoria! Would you be so kind as to put me back on my nightstand?
*the sound of a potted plant being moved*
Thank you.
*the microphone turns off*

Is the bloody mic on? *the sound of microphone static* Argh! *the sound of three sharp beeps.*
There we go.
Dear journal,
I'm frightened. I'm so scared, journal, I'm- I-
*a pause*
It's Seymour. He talks to me in my dreams, he lurks and he watches me from his little pot on my nightstand. He just whispers to me, and I wake up and he's staring at me...
Journal, I can't fall asleep and I can't stay awake! His voice- he talks in clicks and whispers, and he sings siren songs- and ARGGGGH!
*the sound of Miss St. Sinclair tossing a book at the wall.*
Excuse me.
Dr. Woffordshire is reading over my data charts as we speak. And I can't stand it, this-- this anticipation!! That's it, I say! As soon as Dr. W returns my data and gives my my extra credit, I'm getting rid of this bloody godforsaken plant. It breaks my heart, it truly does, but if I am to retain my sanity, Seymour must go!
*the sound of Miss St. Sinclair sniffling*
Blast it. Blast it all. Damn it, damn ME for being so bloody stupid! Damn me for ignoring Victoria and @Maryann Tulip and -
*the sound of Miss St. Sinclair breaking down into tears.*
I wonder if he can hear me, Journal. Can he hear us? Does he know what I'm telling you?
Journal, what have I done?
*sound of the microphone turning off.*

Dear Journal,
*the sound of microphone static*
Oh, perfect. My new voice-recording automatic journal writing program is working!
*the sound of Miss St. Sinclair clapping her hands together in delight.*
Sorry for the lack of entries in recent days. I had turned my attention from Seymour to growing some invisible catnip for @Anton LaFlame and his friends, who made a heroic journey to find the rightful homes for the invisible cats. I also feel a well of loss in my heart for @Lucia Spectre, who disappeared during the journey. I do hope she is safe and healthy in whatever dimension she ended up in.
*the sound of Victoria sighing and slamming the door.*
Oh, bye, Victoria! See you at curfew!
Anyway. Seymour is now approximately the same size as a large cello! Oh, he's growing up so quickly. His vines sprawl around the floor, wall, and up the ceiling. I wonder if Seymour can get to other rooms now... I am getting off topic, dear me! Seymour lives happily on a diet of plant food with the occasional human organ pilfered from Human Sacrifice and Mummification 101. Eurgh, it smells absolutely *repulsive* down there. I shudder to think about it. Blegh.
*the sound of silence*
Sometimes, Seymour likes to wrap his tendril-like viney arms around my waist- and oh, he's doing it now- rather tightly, mind you- I think he's trying to hug me? Seymour, stop that. It's a tad too tight for my liking. Seymour-- stop that-- damn it, I'm bloody serious, let me go, it's too tight!!! VICTORIA!!!! HELP ME!!! STOP I-

*the sound of Miss St. Sinclair passing out*
*the sound of vines tapping the microphone*
*the sound of microphone static*

Dearest @Anton LaFlame,
I was immediately notified of your mention of me by the buzzing sensation in my right temple! Yes, it is true that I am close to many of the visible cats AND one or two invisible ones, but my true specialty is horticulture, as you're probably well aware!
But I have an idea.
Invisible cats are just cats, except they're invisible, no? So here's my plan: I can grow some invisible catnip to draw the invisible cats to you! It's almost foolproof! I've got some invisible catnip seeds in my dorm. Room 1025, in the Bromley Dorm. I hope I can help you in your noble feline quest!
Your friend,
Jade St. Sinclair

Pardon me!
In my excitement, I believe I accidentally wrote my last entry with a grammatical error.
The sentence: "Victoria thought her journals about the incredible hotness of Arnold Wingsbury." is incomplete and should have been expanded to read: "Victoria thought her journals about the incredible hotness of Arnold Wingsbury were far more interesting and better than my journals. But that's her opinion."
Keep a watchful eye, my Psychic brothers and sisters! I hate to find errors in anything, be it data sets or journal entries. Precision is key!

Journal, journal, journal!
After lunch today, I was on my bed reading a scholarly article concerning botanical rights (a cause which is tragically misunderstood by many in today's society) when Victoria walked through the door, and she stared at me like this and her eyes glowed bright blue.
"What's wrong?" I asked, putting down the article. Victoria scowled.
"I'd think you, of all people, would have heard by now..." she grumbled.
I blinked. "Heard what?"
"Your dumb little experiment log about your stupid, useless plant was nominated Story of the Month!" Victoria yelled. The blue glow in her eyes was almost blinding, and I averted my gaze.
I was so surprised, dearest journal, that I fell off my bed! Can you believe it? You, me, and Seymour have made it to Story of the Month! Victoria thought her journals about the incredible hotness of Arnold Wingsbury.Remember him? He's the bloke who sits next to her in Hieroglyphics. I think he's an athlete, but I'm not quite sure. I'm much too busy with Seymour and my other experiments to meddle in the tedious world of the male species.
I feel so, so, honoured. Learning here at Psyhigh has been an amazing experience, and I believe that the experiments I am conducting will benefit not only psychics, but all of mankind and monsterkind.
Oh, what an excellent way to kick off the month of March!
As Spring begins to creep closer and melt the snow away with a warm breeze, my impatient heart grows ever so eager to catalog the new flowers in the courtyard. Maybe I can get seeds from Seymour and see how the plants react....
Yours as the stars shine,
Jade St. Sinclair

Dear Journal,
This morning, as I was about to leave my room, I noticed that Seymour's vines were curled around a flat rectangle. I picked it up, and it was a vinyl record of the Beatles' Abbey Road! Seymour truly does have excellent taste in music. But where did he get it? I've noticed that the vines are crawling up the ceiling like ivy (but stand with no need for a trellis) and through the floor too. What are they doing? What is Seymour up to?
Victoria tried to manipulate some poor chap into snogging her during lunch. It was the funniest thing I had seen all day, but then Dr. Woffordshire dragged her to go see the Spongiform Unimind. Poor Victoria. She is quite alright now, though, quite alright! She's started a collection of pruning shears now. What an interesting hobby!
It's been a week since I started my experiments, and the data collection has been EXPONENTIAL to say the least. I think I've made a remarkable breakthrough here, journal! On Monday, I shall submit the completed analysis and graphs that I compiled, and then.... and then...
What happens then?
Yours till the sky falls,
Jade St. Sinclair

Hello to you, Journal!
Today, Victoria left a DVD on my desk. Some American movie called "Little Shop of Horrors," and it was the finest piece of horticultural comedy that I have ever watched! The singing carnivorous plant did a spectacular job. I researched the movie on IMDB, and I was saddened to see that this botanical beauty wasn't even nominated for one award. The part where Audrey II ate the dentist was an excellent climactic action plot turn! I cried at the end when they killed the plant.
I wonder what Victoria was trying to tell me with this strange present. I know what I gleaned from this cinematic masterpiece, though. I shall name my plant Seymour, after the movie's protagonist! Thank you, Victoria, for the excellent inspiration.
Victoria thinks my plant is dangerous, and she is considering filing a request for a new roommate. I hope she doesn't leave, Seymour has really been growing attached to her! I'm not kidding, the vines are literally curling around her arms right now. Can a plant have feelings? Why is it acting so strangely?
I shall keep you updated as events occur, dearest journal!
Forever always,
Jade St. Sinclair.